Today's Topic: The thing(s) you're most afraid of
Fear sucks. Fear can sometimes be debilitating and strip you of your happiness or passion. I try to not let these fears consume my life but sometimes its hard to not let those thoughts creep back into your mind from time to time.
• Ok, so I think I've mentioned it on the blog here before but I am frekkin petrified of death. I know its inevitable but when I think about it (like really think about it) it gives me serious heart palpitations. It's funny I found out a few months ago that my brother is the exact same way. Not knowing 100% what exactly happens to you when you, ya know, totally freaks me out. When I find out that someone has passed away the first thought I think is "wow, they are no longer breathing or experiencing life…thats…insane". I think about death at least once a day--I know I know I'm out of my mind I'm totally aware of this. BUT since I do think about it a lot it has made me really appreciate everything I do that much more. The fact that I can feel my boyfriends hand intertwined with mine or the fact that I can hold a pencil and draw something from scratch with it….ok ok no more death talk. I'm done.
• I fear something happening to my bub, friends or family. I don't know what I would do with out any of them.
• I fear being stuck at a place I'm not happy just cause I need the dolla dolla billz.
• I fear flying. I don't know, something about being in a giant metal tube that is being held in the air by propellers and air just seems so wrong. We were not meant to fly.
• I fear giving birth. Still unsure if this is something I will ever experience but holy hell squeezing a football out of hole meant for a pea seems so…so…so….(I can't even finish that sentence b/c my lady bits just shuttered a bit)
• I'm almost positive that I have every disease or illness that is on the show House.
What are you afraid of? Promise me you still think I'm cool.